Good bye or bye for good?

Have you ever looked at these two words,Good and Bye? I can't see them match together. To me, there are no good byes. I am not trying to be a drama here but it really makes me sad every time I say it to somone. Uff how weird, Today I told my friends at church that my life is a train station. People pass my life journeying on a train. People stop there, take breaks, and enjoy their stay. Some wait for the train of life, time will take them again, they leave with no return.Some promise to come back and they do, others promise but they don't. But all are special and all leave the meant impression.
The station is still there, gets older day by day. Why is it there? I don't know, but I know it is staying until the Great engineer decides to take it away . It will not forget any of this life's passengers until the time comes and we may meet again.

Flowers of evil

I watched that Youtube video earlier this morning before I went to work. It struck me the whole day and made me think how naive I am sometimes when I complain about tiny details that are nothing, absolutely nothing whereas small children are forced to work in unsafe streets just to help their parents financially.

The kids are brothers and they speak in Lebanese, so I'll try to translate what they say and then my non Arabic speaking friends understand the story.

The flowers of evil:

-music

-Boy1: I am 10 years old

-Boy2: And I am 10 years old

-Interviewer: You are younger than 10.

-Boy2: No, I am 10.

-Boys: We sell roses.

-Interviewer: Why?

-Boy1: My brother and I are working. Our father makes us work because he needs to pay his debts, he works as a taxi driver.

-Interviewer: And what time you return home?

-Boy1. when we sell all the roses.

-Boy2: When we return home, dad gives us some money.

-Boy2 sings a song.

-Boy1: Shall I sing another song?

-Interviewer: Yes.

-Boy1: God may curse the exile, what has exile done to me, it made me feel bitter and stole my precious ones...

-Boy2 trying to sell: take a rose to your moonshine, may God give you a nice car.

-Boy1: My father hits me if we don't sell all the roses.

-Boy2: Our uncle brings us to work and he gives the money we earn to our parents.

-Boy1: We'd like to become doctors.

-Boy2 asking his brother: What would you like to be?

-Boy1: I'd like to be a doctor.

-Boy2: And I like to become an engineer.....

That was my translation for that story. I just close my eyes and pray that they are protected by God's angels from the evil of the dark streets.

He and I

We live in this world; we came to life as twins, he and I. But we were different. He was my advantages and I was his disadvantages. We lived together in spite of our differences and we were glad in each other. He always tried to help me in thinking positively and was a light in my dark days.
We shared many things and my head was never calm because he never stopped talking, but it was just fine with me. I knew that he did this just to make me happy and optimistic. Together we experienced good and bad days, summers and winters, springs and autumns. He used to love it when he understood my thoughts, used to listen with joy and never hesitated to give his advice when was needed.

"Grow up": once he said to me, ”look into the future, let free your feelings, let your soul fly in this world. Break the thick wall of fear between you and society". He taught me to be kind with others, warm and generous." One must continue even if one falls, loses or becomes sad. Man is not lazy and always tries to be hard worker especially in his teen age years. But there are unexpected circumstances that make one stop.” This was his motive.

On my 16th birthday I decided to end our relation, because he was still a kid. I decided to face life alone. I fought and still fighting alone in this world but I am lonely and miss him.

He will never leave me alone. He lives in my heart, and I can still hear that boy shouting in my past's playground. He shouts, laughs and I cry. I wish I can go back in time and hug him till eternity. He will always be in me because... he is me

When She rules

I hardly manage to live with her, but I can’t live without her. She masters my movements like an artist breathing drama in his marionette.
I try to understand her, her methods, her ego, and her moodiness, but she laughs and says:” give up love, there’s no chance.”
Once upon a time I was just an idea, but she blew life in me. Whenever she presses on my heart, I exhale love, hope and creativity.
She uses my weaknesses to bully me and entertain others. She’s insane and I wish I could understand her insanity.
She crowned me a king, she showed me my kingdom and it was a matter of minutes when she abdicated me, kicked me out to the desert of my life.
I still remember the times when I vanished in the corner; cried of despair, cried out for her help, but her ignorance made it worse.
I can’t leave her. She uses me to please others. I wish I can, but I am weak.
I know she will leave me one day and until then if I leave her I will die.
My soul my soul, when she rules.

Words from Lamiss

There hasn’t passed a day without having her in my thoughts or my eyes. It has been a life time, and her present times answer all the questions that have carried her beyond solving any problem in her past.
I still can’t realize “how would she be still dreaming?“
Sleeping on the sofa, with her black shiny hair smoothly holding on her rosy cheeks, and her hands grapping her body, I can’t resist invading her rest nap by kissing her head and rubbing her shoulders. I can always see her as a child. She is the sensitive girl who dreams to have a perfect world of happiness. So she didn’t wait to start drawing herself with that pinky smiley face, dancing and dancing in a spring warm day, among the green trees of the nature's singing band. The birds were the main singers, the leaves and the water brook where the chorus, flowers and grass were also dancers swinging along with the soft breeze.
One day she decided to fill the picture with other companions, one by one, but the picture started to weigh more, and couldn’t handle the overload, it started melting slowly. She couldn’t hear the lyrics anymore, she can’t feel the breeze, and she felt choking. She screamed for a help but the place was so crowdy for a long time that no one could hear her suffocation. The summer came with its hot days turning the green into reddish yellow, the water into sand and all the birds were silenced. With autumn coming, no leaves hang still, all birds had decided to leave and even with everyone still there she had no strength to shout for a help any more. She left herself to the wind of cruel judgments of dirty jury and a judge who wasn’t able but to rule. She was calling for her last claim to restore back her perfect word. In a big swirling sink she was drowning, and sometimes kicked by different edges where her mistake was only asking to be heard. In autumn she had given her last breath. But her faith in her world was strong enough to push the universe to save her soul. Winter came to hold her tight with his white, cold and strong wind. That wind took the cover off every one’s body in the picture, and made every one shake naked with coldness and regret. Until everyone kneeled down to finally listen clearly what that young lady wanted to say. The nature has decided to end all wars in that lovely garden, and plant peace everywhere.
Living 50 years in that place she had finally decided not to leave for a second, redrawing the picture again with every person in it, every plant and drop of water. She is a queen now crowned by her pride of a family that she made with all her tears to prove the existence of a perfect world of love and forgiveness.