When She rules

I hardly manage to live with her, but I can’t live without her. She masters my movements like an artist breathing drama in his marionette.
I try to understand her, her methods, her ego, and her moodiness, but she laughs and says:” give up love, there’s no chance.”
Once upon a time I was just an idea, but she blew life in me. Whenever she presses on my heart, I exhale love, hope and creativity.
She uses my weaknesses to bully me and entertain others. She’s insane and I wish I could understand her insanity.
She crowned me a king, she showed me my kingdom and it was a matter of minutes when she abdicated me, kicked me out to the desert of my life.
I still remember the times when I vanished in the corner; cried of despair, cried out for her help, but her ignorance made it worse.
I can’t leave her. She uses me to please others. I wish I can, but I am weak.
I know she will leave me one day and until then if I leave her I will die.
My soul my soul, when she rules.